Relocated

Hey there blog readers! I have started a new "married people" blog with a new address - http://mike-and-kathy.blogspot.com/.

I won't be updating this one anymore, so you can remove your following and switch it over to the new blog! I'm going to do my best to update more often and give you some fun pics and stories from this first year of married life!

Skeleton Bones

I love this song! We've been singing it at church a lot lately and the words are just awesome! I have to say I prefer Lucas Allen's version (our worship leader at church), but the song is still awesome!

No Longer Much-Afraid

Recently, the Lord sent me a dream about lies that Satan feeds us. Satan tells us that certain things are cute and safe, and we believe him. It's bogus, but we do.

So, after this dream, I opened my heart for God to search it out for lies. And, surprise, surprise, He found some. And it blew me away!

It's not that I expected my heart was 100% clean and sparkly. I know there is still work to be done. But, what surprised me was the lies that I realized were in there. I mean, I knew I believed these things, but it never occurred to me that they are BIG FAT LIES!

I realized that I have so accepted fear as a regular part of my life, that it doesn't even faze me anymore. Ridiculous! I let fear wiggle it's little nose into my heart probably more than 20 years ago, and I just let it stay there warm and cozy.

Fear was able to hide out for all these years because I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE IT! I had let fear become appropriate or acceptable in my life to the extent that I thought it was NORMAL for Christians to feel that way. So, here's a list (because I LOVE lists) of all the ways I have identified thus far that fear had a hold of my life without my recognition.

1. Fear of the unknown -- Whenever something new or unexpected came along, I thought it was appropriate to be afraid. I mean, I'm only human, right! And unknown things are scary! But, letting fear have a foothold is never okay, no matter WHAT!

So, there, Fear of Unknown, you have no place in my heart.

2. Fear of man -- I'm not scared of men. In fact, I think I actually have an irrational level of confidence in my ability to defend myself against most any man. But, I am ridiculously concerned about other people's opinion of me, and it can be debilitating. Calculating the risks of a decision is wise, but letting the opinion of others prevent you from pursuing things that GOD WANTS FOR YOU is ridiculous and I'm over it.

So, yep, kicked that one out too.

3. Fear that God will take thing away -- I know God will stretch me, and that is true, but somewhere along the way I've accepted that God will probably ask me to do things I don't like and ask me to give up lots of the things I love. How often do I forget that HE ONLY GIVES GOOD GIFTS! And how often have I clenched my little tiny fists around something God wanted to take away, not realizing that He wanted to replace it with something better.

Stupid lies, you are officially uninvited to my life party.

There are a few more, but this blog seems pretty long. So, if you want to hear more, email me and I will update you! Otherwise, stay tuned for future blogs about what God's teaching me and about how I will be learning/growing in my new job! My first day in the office (just for a few hours for a meeting) is Tuesday, and I would appreciate some fear-killing prayers!

Sending love to you all, no matter where you are!

Kathy

And now back to our regularly scheduled program...

Happy Wednesday, friends and family!

So, it has been brought to my attention that my previous blog post was totally random. Sorry for those who were utterly confused and thanks to all who played along. Random or not, you have to admit it was fun!

Today's note, however, is much more expected because as most of you Facebook-stalkers know, I GOT A JOB!

Yep, that's right. I am now employed! While I am positive that God is probably looking down from heaven, shaking his head in a very dad-like manner, and saying "I told you so," I admit that I was getting nervous. I mean, I had an offer a few weeks ago. My only offer at that point, mind you, and God told me to say no. I didn't really want the job, but it was a job. So, saying "no" felt difficult despite the fact that I would have rather worked at Kohl's (no offense to anyone who works/worked there.)

Anyway, I am thrilled that this was God's plan! (I also have to give some credit to my brother Andrew for helping me pick out my "power suit" for my final interview, complete with bright pink button down. haha! Thanks, bro!)

I will start at the Timmy Foundation in Indianapolis as their new Program Coordinator the end of next month! I'll also be travelling to Latin America here and there, which is clearly breaking my heart, but I think I'll manage. (Love it!)

Thanks to everyone who prayed me through the job search and be sure to check out www.timmyfoundation.org for all the details!

Little Red/White Box

I would like to discuss a really horrible Sunday School song. It is called "Little White Box" or sometimes "If I Had a Little White Box." If I could make one request, please don't teach your children this song.

There are a zillion reasons why this song annoys me, but let's suffice it to say that you cannot and should not want to keep Jesus in a little box. You also really shouldn't have kids carrying around Satan in a box either, for that matter.

The whole thing is just weird and disturbing.

So, please, do not teach your children this song.

Hallelujah, with a ham sandwich on the side

Okay, so here's the deal. I'm kind of excited, so please excuse any typos because sometimes my fingers punch the keys too hard when I'm excited. And then you get all kinds of extra letters. Haha. Anyway...

I was sitting here eating my ham sandwich because it's lunch time and that is what is in the fridge. I wanted to read the chapter from our Bible study last night that I didn't get a chance to read beforehand. So, I did. And then I got really excited about the next chapter, so I started reading that too...and I came across some phrases that just got me PUMPED. I mean, really, I was talking to God aloud as I read this because I felt like it resonated perfectly with some of the things God has been teaching me lately. So, here are some bits and pieces of what I got excited about, with my thoughts intermingled:

"The great majority of the Christian world is still weeping at the foot of the cross. The consciousness of mankind remains fixed on the Christ who died, not on the Christ who lives. People are looking back to the Redeemer who was, not the Redeemer who is."

I used to get so frustrated when I heard certain people preach the Gospel message. And I felt guilty for feeling cranky about the Gospel. I mean, really, I thought something was wrong with me! But, this shines a new light on what DROVE ME NUTS about their interpretation of the Gospel. In certain churches, the Gospel is all about how dirty and icky and disgusting you are without Jesus. It's about how Jesus found you in the muck and the mire and loved you anyway. But the thing is, they spend so much time on talking about the gross, sinful humans that they fail to talk enough about the brilliance of the resurrected Christ. I mean, he was transformed! He was resurrected and now "As He is, so are we in the world!" Sin is gross. I concur. But Jesus' glory should be the focus of the RESURRECTION story because without that, it's just not the whole Gospel. And to be quite frank, without the resurrection, the Gospel (or lack-thereof) would be utterly depressing.

"Jesus became poor so that I could become rich...Why then should I try to become as He was, when He suffered so I could become as He is? At some point, the reality of the resurrection must come into play in our lives - we must discover the power of the resurrection for all who believe."

Jesus didn't go to the cross so that I could spend all my spiritual energy weeping at the foot of the cross or trying to figuratively nail myself to it. Don't get me wrong, repentance is meaningful and sorrow for sin is worthy of time and attention. BUT it can't end there. It shouldn't end there. Jesus wants more. He died so we could repent and then embrace the power of the resurrected Christ inside of us.

There is a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance (Eccl. 3:4). I don't know about you...but today I feel like dancing.

(Quotes are from: When Heave Invades Earth: a Practical Guide to a Life of Miracles by Bill Johnson, page 146.)

Spiritual Monuments

So, I was reading our book for Bible Study (Bill Johnson's When Heaven Invades Earth) and came across a passage in Exodus that talked about building monuments or altars to remember what God has done. It happens all over the place in the Old Testament. God does something awesome, and people build a memorial so that they won't forget.

I am now trying to figure out what this means for me. What can I build/create/save that commemorates what God has done in my life. I mean, I DON'T want to forget because remembering brings joy and encourages and strengthens your faith.

My only conclusion on the topic thus far is to be more intentional with my journaling. I want to record whenever God provides, or teaches me something, or stretches me or anything else He decides to do. I know this will help me remember, if or when I actually go back and read it.

I want to remember.

And then I want to CELEBRATE!

I want to remember so that my JOY may be in Him and thus my joy may be complete! Let me know if you have other ideas of ways to commemorate intimate experiences with the Lord. I am open to any and all suggestions, and would especially welcome some creative thoughts!

Dios les bendiga,

Kathy

and the word is NO

Do you remember this video from your Sesame Street years? haha. Sometimes Sesame Street still makes for the best illustrations. Old school, Sesame Street, that is. I have nothing to do with this new-fangled Sesame Street where Cookie Monster eats vegetables and Oscar isn't grouchy.

But, I digress...

Recently, the Lord has laid it on my heart that NO is a word I just don't use as often as I should. It's not just about commitments, although I easily say YES to significantly more than I should. It's also the small things. And what shocked me most was when God started telling me to say NO to things that took almost no time at all and seemed like really good things to me! Why would God want me to NOT do a good thing? Weird.

The first time this lesson emerged was when a new homeless person started frequenting the corner by my apartment. I knew the former corner homeless man. He was really nice and once told me how he was going to break the world record for some trapeze trick. I waited through a couple of stop lights just to make sure he knew that someone on this planet recognized he was human and deserved a moment's time. Even though I couldn't help much, talking to that guy was a blessing. So, I was beyond baffled when I saw the new guy and immediately heard that still small voice in my heart saying, "Do NOT go talk to him and do NOT give him ANYTHING!" It was a whispering shout, but it was firm.

Isn't that peculiar? I mean, who knows why God said NO to this opportunity to do something simple with a minimal time commitment that could mean a lot to this man. But God has his reasons and I trust that.

Then, I learned that something tragic happened in the life of a friend I have lost touch with. My heart ached for her and I wanted to at least send a card or a letter with my sympathies and prayers, but God immediately laid on my heart once again that I should do NOTHING.

I don't know why. Perhaps these NO's are a lesson in tuning my spiritual ears to hear the Lord, even when his words are unexpected. Perhaps (and I feel this is likely the case) what God is doing in the lives of these people is being accomplished in a different way. Perhaps my words/money/card/etc. are not part of His plan for this particular person in this particular instant.

And maybe, just maybe, God is teaching me that not every problem is MY problem. I have to trust that God has MANY other workers. I don't have to serve solo, and I don't have to serve everyone. I just have to listen and know that He will say YES when the time is right and He wants to use me.

Dios les bendiga,

Kathy

God Is Too BIG to Fit in Little Brains

"We cover our deep ignorance with words, but we are ashamed to wonder, we are afraid to whisper 'mystery.'" -- The Knowledge of the Holy, p. 18

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If God were small enough to fit inside my head, what kind of a tiny God would He be? If He didn't leave me with a sense of awe, wonder and mystery, would He still be the all-powerful and all-knowing God we profess?

I don't think so, and apparently neither does A.W. Tozer (the author of the quoted book).

So, God is too big to fit in our little brains. BUT, this shouldn't make us feel confused or intimidated, this fact should remind us to embrace the sense of wonder and mystery of God.

If God is really big and really powerful, then I am really not going to understand sometimes. And that is beautiful.

Happy Interview Day

The job search is officially underway and I had my first informational interview today with CMF International. The people there were absolutely incredible. They were all so friendly and helpful and they generously shared the majority of their morning with me.

They also taught me a lot about the organization, which I greatly respect. I particularly appreciated their dedication to holistic aid (helping the whole person, not just physical or just spiritual, etc.). I am excited to stay in touch with the fantastic people I met today and to follow up on their recommendations! I will keep you all posted!

In honor of my wonderfully successful day, I decided to celebrate. Need you even ask what my idea of celebration entails?! That's right....NEW SHOES! hehe. And don't worry...you know they HAD to be on clearance. Ah, I just LOVE THEM! :)

Happy First Interview Day to me! :)

Dios les bendiga,

Kathy

Support for Haiti

Hey all!

I just read this really insightful article on donations made to Haiti relief organizations. Check it out HERE.

It is wonderful that so many generous people are giving of their time and possessions to help the people of Haiti, but the best thing to do right now would be to provide donations for Haiti relief to one of the many organizations who are trained and equipped to most effectively and efficiently engage in disaster relief.

Check out a list of organizations HERE or if you are a SPEA student, you can also make a donation in the Graduate Student lounge to go to Oxfam International's emergency relief efforts.

Dios les bendiga....a todos aqui, en Haiti y el resto del mundo.

Themessage

So, first a funny story....

A couple of years ago for Christmas I had this brilliant gift idea to get Mike a copy of The Message by Eugene Peterson. I love reading The Message in addition to the NIV and New American Standard because it creates a very personal feeling to the Word. I love the way Eugene Peterson articulates some very powerful and passionate messages of Scripture. There are times when I think his interpretation is quite different from my own, but I feel like the thought process of reaching that conclusion is also a wonderfully valuable experience.

But, back to my story. I buy this perfect gift for Mike and I am SUPER excited about it. I wrap it beautifully, because anyone who knows me well can attest to the fact that I am CRAZY about beautifully wrapped Christmas gifts. Mike (who thinks my beautiful wrapping makes one feel some level of guilt for unwrapping their gifts) carefully opened his Christmas gift and responded with a very lame, "Oh, ummm, yeah, thanks," or something to that affect.

I was pretty disappointed because I had even written a really nice message on the inside cover. So, in a heartfelt attempt to redeem this moment of gift-giving joy, I suggested that he read my special message. He complied, and then got this really perplexed look on his face. He flipped back to the front cover and it was like a lightbulb went off in his head. "OH!" he exclaimed, "It's The Message."

He then proceeded to get as excited as I originally expected. When he explained his initial confusion, I couldn't help but bust out laughing. Apparently when Mike first read the cover he smooshed all the letters together in his head (because that is the way the graphic designer laid out the cover) and read it as one word: themessage. His pronunciation sounded like a French back rub, and that is EXACTLY what he thought this massive hardcover book was, a book about MASSAGES! hahaha. Poor guy...no wonder he was totally confused.

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Despite a somewhat misleading cover, The Message has wonderfully encouraging interpretations in Scripture that I find to be very refreshing (although again I emphasize the fact that this is an interpretive version of Scripture from Eugene Peterson's point of view, which I don't always agree with substantively). Here is a passage I read last night that really ministered to my heart:

Micah 6:8b

"It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, and don't take yourself too seriously - take God seriously."

I love that.

You see, I am quite prone, as I believe many of us are, to take myself very seriously. My problems, no matter how insignificant to others (or event to myself at a later time), seem REALLY big to me at the moment they're happening.

But, they're really not that big of a deal. I am really not that big of a deal. And that is WONDERFUL! Why? Because that means that when I mess up, when I fail, when I TOTALLY BLOW IT, it's okay. Because really, it's not about me. It's about Him. It's not about Kathy's glory. It's about God's glory.

And what I can't see on this side of heaven is the beautiful tapestry he is creating of my life, despite my flaws, weaknesses and shameful failures. He is big enough to overcome even the worst of my sin.

That brings me back to a message from Kyle Idleman at Southeast Christian Church that I heard the Sunday after New Years. (You can actually check out the message HERE.) He challenged us to pray a prayer for 2010, and it really spoke to me. It's been coming back up in my heart again and again.

Lord,

More of You. Less of me. Fill me with Your Spirit.

More than anything else, that is what I want. I want to recognize that it's not about me, and to release more of myself each day, so that He can have total control. I want to live my life in a constant state of fullnesses, achieved by the Holy Spirit.

So pray for me, hold me accountable, and feel free to ask me any questions you might have about what this all means. I would love to know what God might be using this simple prayer and this little verse from The Message to say to you.

Dios les bendiga!

Fiestas, townhouses and jazzercise!

Haha, that title makes me laugh. Basically, though, it's a quick list of the things I am most excited about today.

Last night was my somewhat impromptu birthday fiesta hosted by the lovely Suzzy Mangas. It was the perfect fiesta including fajitas, hilarious mustaches and LOADS of laughs. We had the BEST time and I was SO thankful for friends who share their time and funny first kiss memories with me. LOVE YOU GUYS!

Monday, since it's MLK Day, there are no classes at IU and the office I am a graduate assistant for is also closed. So....Mike and I are going to check out a townhouse that we might maybe possibly move into come August! It's a property that my landlord has coming open, and I really, really like me landlord (a rare occurrence in a college town), so we are hoping to stick with her! I'll let you know how it goes.

One final tidbit...I recently started JAZZERCISE! It's not only part of my, Look-As-Hot-As-Possible-for-My-Wedding program, but also part of my plan to discover a more sustainable work-out plan. I LOVE working out, but doing it alone on a treadmill or even alone in my apartment gets SUPER boring after a while. So...I am stoked about the JAZZERCISE! I get to go work out with lots of other women, I get to DANCE and I get my entire workout (and a good one, at that) accomplished in just one hour.

(Side note, one of the instructors asked me on my second class if I would be interested in becoming an instructor...haha. The really funny part is that I am DEFINITELY considering it as maybe a part-time option after graduation! I think it would be a BLAST!)

Also, I am hoping/planning to post on a MUCH more regular basis starting this year for a number of reasons:

1. I want to keep you updated on wedding plans!

2. I want to do a better job of keeping everyone informed on exciting things going on in my life.

3. (Probably the most important reason...) I want to start blogging on some more serious topics that come up from time to time, particularly spiritual topics. If you have any suggestions, please let me know!

Dios les bendiga!